i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
