The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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