I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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