I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
