You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
