It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
