party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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