I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize