Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she looked like the before picture.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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