then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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