Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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