I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
