He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I won't apologize to a one balled man
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
