I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
