how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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