Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
