i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
