Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
