Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
