She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
two words: eviction party
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
