Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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