i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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