therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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