She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
