Screwed.edu
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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