weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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