The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
thus making me awesome and them whores
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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