Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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