Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
