You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
