she looked like the before picture.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
