He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
