fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize