So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I AM VODKA MAN
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
