cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
