Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
