If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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