he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
