My brain says no but my pants say off.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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