found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
