fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Randomize
