arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
