I accidentally burped into my bong.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You smell like stripper and shame
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
