Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
