No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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