Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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