I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
