Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
