just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize