who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
