Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize