my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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